Mommy Nerves.....

Well its 3:45 in the morning, what you say am I doing up? Normally if I am awake at this hour I am working but tonight I got called off. I have "mommy nerves". You know the kind of nerves only mommies get about their kids. Your husband and child are sleeping soundly at 4 in the morning but mommy is awake because something has her mind racing. Colton has his echocardiogram this morning and my mommy nerves are taking over for my all knowing nursing brain. I know, back up, back up you all are saying. What echo? At Colton's 15 month appointment they found a heart murmur and said well, if it's still there at 2 yrs old we will send him for an echo. The Dr. said that lots of toddlers have murmurs and they weren't too concerned. So at his 18 month appointment they still heard the murmur and said again that they weren't too concerned and that they were sticking with the echo at 2 if it wasn't gone. Well don't you know that a few days later I get a phone call that they, the Dr.'s and Nurse Practitioners, have been talking and they think that with my family history that we should at least get a baseline. Oh great! Just what I wanted to hear. So today is his appt. He technically should be sedated but I vetoed that and said that I wanted to just give him a try without it. So I kept him up till 10pm last night and will wake him at 6am to make sure he is nice and sleepy in time for his echo and (fingers crossed) he will sleep and be still so we don't have to make another appt for a sedation echo. So that is where my "mommy nerves" come in. My nursing brain tells me that he is going to be just fine and that they are only doing this because my sister has had open heart surgery, that if this was anyone else's kid with no family history they wouldn't even be doing it. That they basically are covering there arses! LOL But then my "mommy nerves" kick in and say why my kid, why did they change their mind after they told me it was going to be ok?, what if something really is wrong, can I handle all that? I remember what is was like for my sister and I don't know if I am as strong as my mom was. Well I guess that is part of being a mommy, you learn to become stronger than you ever thought you could be.
Now I need to see if I can sleep since I do have to be up in 2 hrs!